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A hearts song
Loner

rank:

gender: Non-Conforming

age: 5

posts: 55

post log:

Dark

Stardust: 310✪
#1
Scents tantalized her senses. They serenaded that portion of her mind that yearned to be home. Was there even a home anymore? Would she fall into the pattern that had cooed those promises of intellectual stimulation and self-awareness? Did they every truly understand the severity of the mortality of her mind? That part of her that screamed her blood did know about her. Yet, did those that called their selves her family truly know her? Would they understand the lost that had befallen her? It was all the uncertainty that the inner knight did wonder. She, all the while, was lost again in the comforting fog that was her inner mind.

Distorted was the world around her. Shimmering in a due of regret and need. Something called to her? Maybe it was someone. Would they love her still after all that had happened? Would she love her? Who was she? The thought lingered on the edge of her mind. Like a soft illuminating light that called to the depths of her soul. She needed to be close to that light but why? Her limbs had dragged her forgotten body along the path that she had called home. Was she even welcome home? That knight did wonder in her stead. Could she handle the rejection or the rage that followed in her wake? Only those that truly knew her understood the devastation that could consume her body and soul.

Those violet eyes did blindly follow as her body knowingly walked the path of her home. The cavern, the sights, the reminders, all flooded Inside her and followed her with guilt. She could feel it heavy against her chest and it nearly buckled her to the ground. Tears did swallow her face as she trembled near the opening of her forgotten realm. What was happening? Why did she sweep so? A song did fill the air, lost in time and filled with such forlorn it could make the angle sob. Did her voice break free the chains that had bound her? She was lost in the in-between again. Yet something clutched against her soul that made her need to face reality. Could the fractured edges of her mind truly piece together her soul and break free into the now again… could she be saved? Would she be lost to the sand of time and found by a new ambition.


"Newt Speaks,"

Table @Centience

@Dove,
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Astaria

rank: Captain

gender: Female

age: 3y

posts: 267

post log:

Lunicea

Stardust: 1,330✪
#2
@Newt

Dove

shook herself as she carried on her usual hunt, claws bringing up tuffs of dirt in their wake as she strode back towards the pack, swinging in powerful jaws was that of a hog, fat and smelling it was an adolesent, small enough for the women to take on on her own but large enough to feed her pups. With then now reaching their seventh month she had lost all weight she held from her pregnancy, her figure taught and lean once more, rippling with muscle that pressed against the skin tightly. Her stomach held its curve once more and her back had mostly straightened again, the only remaining facture being the slight dip. She was now fully healed from the fire as well, fur once more adorned the backs of her legs curled and billowing like a bird's wings.

It was when a fimilare scent hit her nose that she slowed, her jaw clenching around the hogs neck as she looked around for the scource of the scent. Her muzle crinkled slightly when she realized the owner was a friend of hers, one of whom she budded in romance with for a short while before she had suddenly disapeared. In her absence the mother had learned more about the queen clad in violet. A snort leaving her nose she started her march in the direction the scent came from, her newly torn ear flicking as she came around the bend that revealed the salt and pepper pelt. The carcass of the hog dropping from her maw and landing with a deep thud in the dirt.

"Newt Saxe." She rumbled, voice flat. Different emotions swarmed in her gut. Worry, anger, hurt. Was she crying? In all her time she had yet to see Newt cry yet here she was with dark marks running down her cheeks. Dove's jaw clenched, the worry starting to show in her features as her brows knit in concern, licking the blood from her lips she trotted forward, lowering her head to meet Newt's eye asking a silent question with the display of her features.

What's wrong?





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STOCK ➤Kati H. - Dawnthieves ART+CODE ➤TWISTY
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Loner

rank:

gender: Non-Conforming

age: 5

posts: 55

post log:

Dark

Stardust: 310✪
#3
Something teased the edges of her consciousness. The sickly feeling of guilt would burrow deep into her aching heart and make her gaze burn with confusion. Someone was approaching her. The hairs around her neck would rise in response as the unknown did swallow her whole. That tiny voice would scream against her consciousness that she did know this being. However, her gaze would falter and breathe life to her unawareness. Her grandson had punished her for such a crime. She had forgotten again. Just when she had found her voice it would seem that something had stolen it all away from her. Why was it that those ghosts of the past did plague her memories so? Would she ever be free of that torment that locked away her voice and brought her back to solidarity?

Her name did give her pause. She knew that name. Who did it belong to? Her violet gaze struggled to understand the formation of that name. Her graying ears did fall back as she attempted to focus. Was she real? Was any of this real? Who was she? Softness kissed at her heart and she knew that somehow this wolf was comfort. Why? She struggled to digest all that had enveloped around her. The world was always an illusion. Had she dreamt it all? Had she ever truly found her place? Maybe it was just a sick game her mind had played on her. To help her fathom the eternal loneliness she had always known. Insanity was never truly black and white. The grays would paint the picture and structure together the body of something more than just madness. Did they?

Her silver head would tilt ever so gently to the right. She desperately tried to register the words that had fallen from those luscious lips. A name was on the edge of her consciousness. She could almost pluck it out from the rest, almost. She closed her eyes and felt the burn of her sorrow. The sting of her regret and guilt would consume her in fire. What was happening? Why did she feel as if she had betrayed someone important? “I know that name?” her voice was filled with her confusion. Her violet eyes would rove across the woman that stood before her. She had changed. She was different, why did she know that? “I know you.” She said, her voice lost in her confusion and yet a hint of truth did fall from her lips. It was as if she were peering into the mirror of someone else’s life, someone who knew they were. It was as if that life belonged to someone who hadn’t fallen to the fog of time.

The truth of her home rested inside the veins of those she loved. Black had offered herself to her to show her the truth. Would it be the same with this wolf? Could she show her the truth? She could feel that need to taste reality. Had she ever told Dove of the story of blood? That it sang reality into her mind when nothing else did? The words, blood is truth, echoed inside her. She had uttered those words to her Alpha when they had first encountered. She had tasted the blood of her child when they had found each other again. It was a constant that she could never ignore. Would she remember that? She wondered if any of this would make sense or was she mistaken for someone else? For someone who knew the up from the down?


"Newt Speaks,"

Table @Centience

@Dove,
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Astaria

rank: Captain

gender: Female

age: 3y

posts: 267

post log:

Lunicea

Stardust: 1,330✪
#4
@Newt

Dove


Dove watched Newt as the woman turned to face her, seeming aloft and lost with no where to go. The look of confusion clear on the older woman and Dove felt a tug a worry in her abdomen once more, she remembered Newt's son and how she couldn't remember him, as well as her brother. Both instances had ended in all blood shed pardon Newt. Dove gave out a small sigh through her nose.

“I know that name?”

Dove nodded to her, keeping her expression neuteral as she sat down in front of Newt and relaxed her shoulders. Doing her best to put aside her anger until Newt remembered why she would even be angered.

"Yes you do know that name, it's your name. Newt. That is your name." She rumbled, punching each syllable to insure it in the woman's mind, Dove was unable to help the slight commanding tone that took over her voice, giving a small sigh as she looked over confuzed violet orbs and tear soaked cheeks.

“I know you.”

Dove nodded once more, looking at their surrounding before she looked back down to her freshly healed paw pads, having a feeling that things would have to be done more manually to jog the memory of the brute. Though she wasn't about to let the woman get ahold of her in her jaws. No...No she would find a better way.

"You do, I was your commrad, we held command together as captains." She rumbled, slowly getting to her paws she walked a few paces awa from Newt to find an object she was seeking, clenching her jaw when she came upon a jagged outcropping rock and brought her left forelimb to it, pressing her ankle upon it she drew back sharply. Opening a small cut under her dew claw without a grimace. Returning to Newt she held up the limb boredly.

"Lick." She said flatly, a soft commanding tone seeping into her words. Once Newt remembered she would understand Dove's pissy behavior, but for now Dove was fine with coming off as grumpy if it meant getting Newt's memory back. Or at least, memories of her.




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STOCK ➤Kati H. - Dawnthieves ART+CODE ➤TWISTY
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Loner

rank:

gender: Non-Conforming

age: 5

posts: 55

post log:

Dark

Stardust: 310✪
#5
What was a name? Who decided that those that walked the path of life would need a title to follow them? Did their name define them? That small voice inside her screamed that she was more than this. That she had become more than this. She felt as if her soul was trapped beneath the surface of the pool of reality. It rippled with the sound waves that escaped the jaws of this woman. If she pushed her paw against the surface could she be pulled free? Her dark ears fell back with that feeling of entrapment. Was she but a solitary paw print in the sands of time? One brisk breathe from the whispering winds and she would be no more.

The pretense that she would be, what she had once been, did mock her silently. Those eyes that belonged to the slayer of queens would watch her on the other side of her reflection. They knew things. Knew how she could be much more herself and yet they were so far from reach. Her violet eyes sparked alive for a moment as the scent of truth filled her nostrils. Her dark ears twitched as the need filled her almost completely.

The words had barley registered within her consciousness. She could feel the edges of frustration and anger slipping from that body. What had she done to ignite such emotions? Her gaze had fallen unbeknownst to her to the drop of freshly spilled liquid life. There was never any way to manipulate the truth from within. It never lied to her. Could never hide from her. It was always a constant. Perhaps that was why she always needed it to remind her of who she was and who they all where. Blood ran through all their bodies and told the story of their lives.

She took a step towards Dove. The scent filled her further. A whine spilled from her lips as she hesitantly hovered over the small wound. Every experience was different for her. Sometimes the violence that fueled the Saxe lineage would consume her. Sometimes the need for truth would override her aggression. Sometimes it was simply a must be. Dove had only experienced submission and demand when it came to blood. However, she dismissed those experiences for a more giving approach.

Her pink tongue had slipped gently across the open wound. The taste filled her mouth and she closed her eyes. She savored every flavor of that offering as if it were fermented wine. If she swallowed too fast its effects would not touch her deeply. Memories pooled around her and the tiny pebbles of guilt that had trickled down her body seemed to cluster together and crush her. What had triggered her to forget? She had thought that with their home she had found purpose. Purpose typically meant normalcy. Well, a type of normalcy for the insane.

She turned her head away from Dove. The clouds of fog had vanished as the guilt piled over her. Her ears fell back and she wondered how she was feeling. Yet, she also feared it. She had felt the rage, sorrow, worry, and devastation she had caused to those she cared for. Which flavor of emotion followed after her fellow captain? The thought gave her pause. Was she even apart of their home anymore? Would they even understand? It wasn’t uncommon for episodes like these to occur. Something would trigger her mind to shut down and she would fall. How long had she fallen? Had it been years once more? She feared the answer to that question. Could they even forgive her? Could they trust her? Could she trust herself? So many thoughts swirled inside her head. What was in store for her now?


"Newt Speaks,"

Table @Centience

@Dove,
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Astaria

rank: Captain

gender: Female

age: 3y

posts: 267

post log:

Lunicea

Stardust: 1,330✪
#6
@Newt
Dove

Dove looked down at Newt when the woman came forward and lowered her head to Dove's newly opened wound, seeming non-agreesive. A factor that surprised Dove momentarily as Newt's tongue slowly reaching out and licked the wound, cleansing the small cut and beholding the trigger to memories. The mother took a step back to give the queen room to breath as she was flooded with her past correlations. Dove watching on expressionless as the woman's eyes changed from fogged forgetfullness to guilt and saddness, something that made Dove's heart ache in her chest. She cared for the woman and watching her slowly break down into a guilt filled state was hard on her.

Rising from her place she walked around the woman and gently pressed her nose into the tuffs of Newt's cheeks, licking away the salty tears that damped them. Though she kept her movments slow enough that she could be stopped if Newt so wished.

"You weren't away long Newt... only the spring season." She murmured, looking down at the older woman in concern as she stepped closer, offering her chest as consolence while she looked over their surroundings. Wondering if Newt's children or rather grandchildren had found her before she had. Her protective nature towards her friend overcoming her as she shoulder's tensed, becoming alert to any noise astray from normal on the forest floor.

"Where have you been?" She rumbled, her voice taking a slightly bitter tone as much as she tried to stifle it. She couldn't simply overlook Newt's sudden disapearance, leaving the duties the two wolves used to share on her shoulders while she raised three pups, one of which sick and unable to interact with others in the pack. And the other that hardly spoke english, I time of stress that she could have used a companian or a friend that wasn't overloaded with her own drama and pack duties. She couldn't rely on Blackfoot for everything, Newt had been a great help with Arios when she was with the pack and when she had left Dove had hardly gotten any sleep trying to keep both her pups happy. With Prim not being able to go out in the light she had had to stay out at night in the hopes she would give equal attention to both her pups. Rendering her to be sleep deprived most days and stressed. Though as much as she had against the woman she couldn't help but slowly lower her head down over her neck and pull her into an embrace, her jaw clenched as she offered Newt her warmth.

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STOCK ➤Kati H. - Dawnthieves ART+CODE ➤TWISTY
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Loner

rank:

gender: Non-Conforming

age: 5

posts: 55

post log:

Dark

Stardust: 310✪
#7
She could feel the fuel of her fear boiling in the depths of her core. It gnawed at her insides and demanded blood for her transgressions. Her ears were glued tightly against her skull as she felt the softness of Dove nose against her damp cheeks. The tears had leaked out even as she willed them not to. Her words were like a whip across her heart. The fact that she had been gone at all had filled her with defeat and shame. She had thought she had control over her mental state. However, she had been sorely mistaken. She was so incredibly tired of the self-isolation. Why did her mind betray her so many times?

"You weren't away long Newt... only the spring season."

At least there was that. She had merely been gone one season. Her mind drifted off towards her encounter with her grandson. Their embrace had been something she had recoiled from, at first, but it brought back to her the memories of his valiant efforts to rebuild her. That would be another bridge she would have to rebuild. What of her alpha? Was she even her alpha anymore? Her violet eyes sparkled with the comprehension that she had abandoned her duties. She had never done that. As a queen she had ruled until her kingdom had fallen.

The bitterness that Dove had lashed out at her wasn’t undeserving. Her tail flicked around her and she turned to face her. The ferocity of the unknown burned within her eyes and she frowned. “I knew who I was, for a moment. Then my head unraveled and brought me back to the road of thorns. It is a place where things are different, twisted, and lost. For you see, Memory is a curse more often than a blessing.” She said, the riddles clutching at her speech. They always held a deeper meaning but not many could decipher them. The eyes that burned like smoldering embers would forever haunt her. They would always consume her and bring her back to that prison in time.

Was it worth it? Going home again? She was uncertain. How could she face them? She wondered if Sif would turn her admiration away and consider her a weakness. How would Arios feel, seeing her again, after a whole season? The world’s time felt so prolonged as a child. Her eyes focused back on Dove and she allowed the sorrow to fill her eyes. She couldn’t go back. It was clear she was not ready to be more than the lost soul that wandered this place. “Will you tell Blackfoot I am ok and that I am sorry.” She said, the pain in her voice filled her chest with such heaviness. It felt as if it were breaking all over again. It wasn’t as if Dove couldn’t find her if she wanted. However, she needed to figure out what had caused her to fall. She couldn’t return until she had control over the fog.


"Newt Speaks,"

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